...
I keep thinking I should quit my program at school since I don't like it and I don't like where it's potentially leading me.
I feel very lonely here.
I'm a girl, asking to hang out with a guy seems... awkward to me.
All my friends are guys. I don't really feel close to any of them, but I wish there was someone among them that I could hang with or really talk to.
I miss my friends back home.
I miss home.
I've never liked it here. I've tried to, but you can only go so long feeling trapped inside a shell before you want to burst.
I don't like my school.
I don't like my classes.
I don't like this city.
But what else do I have?
Signed,
Depressed.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
i miss my friends...
well that's nothing new I suppose, but y'know, when you logon to facebook and see all these photos of your friends doing happy fun summer things while you're in another damn province doing school work... it's depressing :(
I wish I were home instead of here, alone and angry at the people around me.
It's also way too hot to think here. Stupid Vancouver weather. ><
I wish I were home instead of here, alone and angry at the people around me.
It's also way too hot to think here. Stupid Vancouver weather. ><
Monday, July 13, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
animal crossing politics...
...so wow, things actually happen in this game.
My neighbor Baabara had a fight with Cyrano who lives next to her and now he's so upset that he's moving.
Chief and Bunnie have become ridiculously close as they both wear the same shirt and Bunnie has adopted Chief's nickname for me, "Snappy J." They're the only two in the whole town who call me that. And apparently, town gossip thinks they should be a couple, but Chief seems to think he may have chemistry with me which scares him (wait, he's scared? What about me?!).
I'm now friends with Sable who works in the clothing store, and usually doesn't talk to anyone.
Oh and I just paid 3,000 bells for life insurance to a shady looking mole named Lyle who spent most of today hanging around my house in a suspicious manner.
...
what the hell.
I'm not complaining, but I certainly didn't expect characters to really interact with each other like this. I always assumed that beyond the tiny conversations you may witness them having that they weren't all too aware of each other. In fact, I assumed those convos with the characters that went along the lines of "You know how animalA and animalB seem to get along so well?" just had characters randomly inserting names from people who lived in the town.
I gotta say, I'm actually kinda impressed at the AI programming here. I would have loved to see them push it farther, so that say, if you wrote to Rod and mentioned Baabara, then Rod would reply with a letter about Baabara. They could defs script that.
But anyways, I should probably do something more productive with my time, like, I dunno, do Level Design II homework... Maybe.
My neighbor Baabara had a fight with Cyrano who lives next to her and now he's so upset that he's moving.
Chief and Bunnie have become ridiculously close as they both wear the same shirt and Bunnie has adopted Chief's nickname for me, "Snappy J." They're the only two in the whole town who call me that. And apparently, town gossip thinks they should be a couple, but Chief seems to think he may have chemistry with me which scares him (wait, he's scared? What about me?!).
I'm now friends with Sable who works in the clothing store, and usually doesn't talk to anyone.
Oh and I just paid 3,000 bells for life insurance to a shady looking mole named Lyle who spent most of today hanging around my house in a suspicious manner.
...
what the hell.
I'm not complaining, but I certainly didn't expect characters to really interact with each other like this. I always assumed that beyond the tiny conversations you may witness them having that they weren't all too aware of each other. In fact, I assumed those convos with the characters that went along the lines of "You know how animalA and animalB seem to get along so well?" just had characters randomly inserting names from people who lived in the town.
I gotta say, I'm actually kinda impressed at the AI programming here. I would have loved to see them push it farther, so that say, if you wrote to Rod and mentioned Baabara, then Rod would reply with a letter about Baabara. They could defs script that.
But anyways, I should probably do something more productive with my time, like, I dunno, do Level Design II homework... Maybe.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
returning to hell and becoming a platformer goddess...
...
SO I'm back in Vancouver now after a two week break back home. YAY.
I just got back in yesterday and I already want to kill everyone I live with, though this is partially because I'm PMSing and therefore feel like the epitome of miserable.
It seems to be a thing with me that the whole PMS jazz has uncanny timing in when it strikes, since it always seems to occur when I'm going through tough times, making them WORSE.
Returning to this tiny ghost house is never any fun for me. No one's been home since I've been here other than good ol' Frank... yaaaaaaay. He hasn't destroyed the house in my absence though thankfully. He does however, play loud music when he's here, and it's all particularly mainstream to the point that I want to smash his head against a wall. Again, PMSing here.
It's as if God hand-picked the type of person I would never associate with in highschool and then put him in the same house as me in order to torture me "for the lulz." THAT'S RIGHT -GOD'S LAUGHING.
Oh and my female roomie, Hiwot, decided since I wasn't using my space in the fridge (for uh, obvious reasons since I wasn't HERE), that she would use it instead so I came only to find that I barely had any room for groceries. NOT too pleased with that. She has a tendency to move her stuff in on my space if I leave it unused which kind of irritates me. She works late so I haven't seen her yet, but when I do I'm gonna have to talk to her about the fridge space at the least.
There's also another fuckin ant colony in the house (though thankfully no mosquitoes... yet) and I managed to get bad oil burns all over my right arm after a retarded panicky attempt at cooking chicken in hot oil. I tend to freak out and just drop the meat into the pan which usually doesn't cause problems unless I have too much oil in the pan and it... well yeah.
I had too much oil in the pan.
Best part of this is that the whole experience is essentially the same as adding insult to injury since I not only feel intense friggin PAIN, but I also feel like a goddamn moron.
That's basically the sum of misery that I'm willing to express right now.
The good news is, my new PS3 is up and running, I got Prince of Persia for it and it is AWESOME, and I got Animal Crossing for my DS because my siblings have it so... peer pressure.
Also, two days before my flight back, I beat Psychonauts on PS2. It was a fantastic experience and I'll have to put that game into my hall of fame for greatest games ever. I think I beat it a day too early cuz I didn't know what to do with myself the day after but WHATEVER.
I wanted to write a full review of the game or some shiz, but um, I'll just summarize:
It's a good game, but it's not flawless. The game was the first of a new company at its release so it naturally lacks the polish a bigger company could pull off. It's very glitchy, to the point that sometimes the BG Music stops running, or it literally freezes up. In particular, my biggest gripe is the mechanic behind jumping off poles and walls and such -it's not very reliable, I recall spending hours in the Waterloo level just trying to get onto a rooftop of a building from a flag pole but having severe difficulty since the pole seemed to rarely be in the mood for allowing me to double-jump. This came back to haunt me again in the final level which I've learned many gamers have complained about -The Meat Circus. Only one part though: a friggin circle of floating fences ON FIRE that you had to jump to and climb to continue. The camera would always work against you here, and angling the character's jump just right took more luck than skill -I finally passed this part by accidentally climbing the wrong side of the fences.
Judging by the credits, it looks like their QA department included or just was "an army of volunteer testers" so that may explain why so many bugs escaped into production.
Despite this though, getting through all of that makes you feel like something of a platforming master, I even read a comment on one forum where a guy said he felt like a platforming god by the end.
And he's right, I sucked at the game when first I started but by the end I pretty much mastered the controls, so in a sense I think I could say I'm a Platformer Goddess or at least feel like one. That doesn't get my any trophies though (damn).
It's a colorful game that makes you really care about the characters and feel connected to the main character Raz as if he were a really close friend, or an alternate you. The game looked like the team behind it had a lot of creative freedom and had fun making it, or at least that's what I'd like to imagine. Despite its flaws, the game really draws you in and puts a big childish grin on your face -it's more fun than most games I've played as of late. It continually surprised and delighted me, giving me a whole lot of "No way! Awesome!" moments that I wish more games could give.
Okay, rant over. No seriously, I'm done. I got nothing.
RAH.
SO I'm back in Vancouver now after a two week break back home. YAY.
I just got back in yesterday and I already want to kill everyone I live with, though this is partially because I'm PMSing and therefore feel like the epitome of miserable.
It seems to be a thing with me that the whole PMS jazz has uncanny timing in when it strikes, since it always seems to occur when I'm going through tough times, making them WORSE.
Returning to this tiny ghost house is never any fun for me. No one's been home since I've been here other than good ol' Frank... yaaaaaaay. He hasn't destroyed the house in my absence though thankfully. He does however, play loud music when he's here, and it's all particularly mainstream to the point that I want to smash his head against a wall. Again, PMSing here.
It's as if God hand-picked the type of person I would never associate with in highschool and then put him in the same house as me in order to torture me "for the lulz." THAT'S RIGHT -GOD'S LAUGHING.
Oh and my female roomie, Hiwot, decided since I wasn't using my space in the fridge (for uh, obvious reasons since I wasn't HERE), that she would use it instead so I came only to find that I barely had any room for groceries. NOT too pleased with that. She has a tendency to move her stuff in on my space if I leave it unused which kind of irritates me. She works late so I haven't seen her yet, but when I do I'm gonna have to talk to her about the fridge space at the least.
There's also another fuckin ant colony in the house (though thankfully no mosquitoes... yet) and I managed to get bad oil burns all over my right arm after a retarded panicky attempt at cooking chicken in hot oil. I tend to freak out and just drop the meat into the pan which usually doesn't cause problems unless I have too much oil in the pan and it... well yeah.
I had too much oil in the pan.
Best part of this is that the whole experience is essentially the same as adding insult to injury since I not only feel intense friggin PAIN, but I also feel like a goddamn moron.
That's basically the sum of misery that I'm willing to express right now.
The good news is, my new PS3 is up and running, I got Prince of Persia for it and it is AWESOME, and I got Animal Crossing for my DS because my siblings have it so... peer pressure.
Also, two days before my flight back, I beat Psychonauts on PS2. It was a fantastic experience and I'll have to put that game into my hall of fame for greatest games ever. I think I beat it a day too early cuz I didn't know what to do with myself the day after but WHATEVER.
I wanted to write a full review of the game or some shiz, but um, I'll just summarize:
It's a good game, but it's not flawless. The game was the first of a new company at its release so it naturally lacks the polish a bigger company could pull off. It's very glitchy, to the point that sometimes the BG Music stops running, or it literally freezes up. In particular, my biggest gripe is the mechanic behind jumping off poles and walls and such -it's not very reliable, I recall spending hours in the Waterloo level just trying to get onto a rooftop of a building from a flag pole but having severe difficulty since the pole seemed to rarely be in the mood for allowing me to double-jump. This came back to haunt me again in the final level which I've learned many gamers have complained about -The Meat Circus. Only one part though: a friggin circle of floating fences ON FIRE that you had to jump to and climb to continue. The camera would always work against you here, and angling the character's jump just right took more luck than skill -I finally passed this part by accidentally climbing the wrong side of the fences.
Judging by the credits, it looks like their QA department included or just was "an army of volunteer testers" so that may explain why so many bugs escaped into production.
Despite this though, getting through all of that makes you feel like something of a platforming master, I even read a comment on one forum where a guy said he felt like a platforming god by the end.
And he's right, I sucked at the game when first I started but by the end I pretty much mastered the controls, so in a sense I think I could say I'm a Platformer Goddess or at least feel like one. That doesn't get my any trophies though (damn).
It's a colorful game that makes you really care about the characters and feel connected to the main character Raz as if he were a really close friend, or an alternate you. The game looked like the team behind it had a lot of creative freedom and had fun making it, or at least that's what I'd like to imagine. Despite its flaws, the game really draws you in and puts a big childish grin on your face -it's more fun than most games I've played as of late. It continually surprised and delighted me, giving me a whole lot of "No way! Awesome!" moments that I wish more games could give.
Okay, rant over. No seriously, I'm done. I got nothing.
RAH.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
it's my birthday and the world makes sense...
...yup! Finally 19. Damn.
Was a good day for the most part.
Despite the fatc that it was a little bit of a repeat of last Friday in that I am swatting mosquitos from yet another party held by Frank.
But I'm at peace now, because I finally get it.
He's SIXTEEN.
GOD EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW! OF COURSE! He's immature and inconsiderate BECAUSE HE'S 16! OH MAN!!
I'm still kinda miffed though
his guests still used our bathroom and they found my toilet paper and used that up in a jiffy, those bastards.
And of course MOSQUITOS! HAHAHAHA
I managed to get Frank to go on a mosquito hunting mission while drunk to make up for that. Despite that though they're still PLENTY here, and they got in my room of course.
I'm already scratching new bites as I type this.
Happy Birthday me. Jesus.
Hiwot called Harjit though which broke up the party and I found out Frank intends on moving. He's a nice kid and all but just, yeah, no. He's at least aware that he's likely to fuck up again, so he tells me. In fact i talked with him tonight longer than I ever have since I met him.
I also found out that Will moved out two weeks ago *shocker* I never see the guy so... well he could've been gone a year and I wouldn't have noticed. haha
Oh and I also saved some ducks today which was kinda cool.
I left to go work on my last school project at 9:30pm and witnessed two ducks walking across the road by my bus stop. A van almost hit them but hit the brakes while honking at them. They scurried to the middle of the road and for the next five minutes, cars were hesitantly trying to drive past them to the point that they actually stopped altogetehr and waited for them to move.
I admit I hesitated at first, but then I ran out into the road and chased the ducks off so people could pass.
A teenage girl smiled and waved at me from one of the cars after that, and another car gave me a quick friendly double-honk in appreciation.
It was kinda cool.
Anyways, two days now and I'll be home!!! *awesome*
Was a good day for the most part.
Despite the fatc that it was a little bit of a repeat of last Friday in that I am swatting mosquitos from yet another party held by Frank.
But I'm at peace now, because I finally get it.
He's SIXTEEN.
GOD EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW! OF COURSE! He's immature and inconsiderate BECAUSE HE'S 16! OH MAN!!
I'm still kinda miffed though
his guests still used our bathroom and they found my toilet paper and used that up in a jiffy, those bastards.
And of course MOSQUITOS! HAHAHAHA
I managed to get Frank to go on a mosquito hunting mission while drunk to make up for that. Despite that though they're still PLENTY here, and they got in my room of course.
I'm already scratching new bites as I type this.
Happy Birthday me. Jesus.
Hiwot called Harjit though which broke up the party and I found out Frank intends on moving. He's a nice kid and all but just, yeah, no. He's at least aware that he's likely to fuck up again, so he tells me. In fact i talked with him tonight longer than I ever have since I met him.
I also found out that Will moved out two weeks ago *shocker* I never see the guy so... well he could've been gone a year and I wouldn't have noticed. haha
Oh and I also saved some ducks today which was kinda cool.
I left to go work on my last school project at 9:30pm and witnessed two ducks walking across the road by my bus stop. A van almost hit them but hit the brakes while honking at them. They scurried to the middle of the road and for the next five minutes, cars were hesitantly trying to drive past them to the point that they actually stopped altogetehr and waited for them to move.
I admit I hesitated at first, but then I ran out into the road and chased the ducks off so people could pass.
A teenage girl smiled and waved at me from one of the cars after that, and another car gave me a quick friendly double-honk in appreciation.
It was kinda cool.
Anyways, two days now and I'll be home!!! *awesome*
Friday, June 12, 2009
please god, kill my roomie...
...before I do.
Okay. Just. ARGH.
Frank seems like a nice enough guy but HONESTLY? WTF?!
He's thrown a big fucking party and in attempts to be considerate tells me "I'm trying to keep them mostly outside."
Like THAT makes a fucking difference!! They're all still using OUR BATHROOM, and making a MESS of it I might add! Not to mention that no one goddamn knocks, they all just try and open the door and are "shocked" when it doesn't open
Apparently, my bedroom door isn't off limits either. God, does it even OCCUR to them that otehr people live here??
I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
AND THERE ARE GODDAMN BUGS EVERYWHERE.
*internal screaming*
Okay. Just. ARGH.
Frank seems like a nice enough guy but HONESTLY? WTF?!
He's thrown a big fucking party and in attempts to be considerate tells me "I'm trying to keep them mostly outside."
Like THAT makes a fucking difference!! They're all still using OUR BATHROOM, and making a MESS of it I might add! Not to mention that no one goddamn knocks, they all just try and open the door and are "shocked" when it doesn't open
Apparently, my bedroom door isn't off limits either. God, does it even OCCUR to them that otehr people live here??
I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
AND THERE ARE GODDAMN BUGS EVERYWHERE.
*internal screaming*
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